Thoughts

I follow Women's Health Mag on twitter & recently, they linked to this article.  After reading it I thought about it for a while. Are we too quick to write men off for "flaws" they may present within the first 180 seconds? Not confident? Not interested.  Can't hold conversation? Not interested. Not funny? Not interested.  I wonder if we as women should give men more time to feel comfortable & allow them to really highlight the best points of their personality rather than slamming the door in their face at the first sign of trouble.

On the opposite side of the spectrum, in a life where you meet hundreds of people a month, your best foot should be put forward all the time. You have 30 (or rather 180) seconds to make an impression - make the most of it.  What are your thoughts? Do you buy into the theories?
First impressions can tell volumes. Here’s how to decide in 3 minutes whether the next guy you meet is worth more of your time…or not.

One hundred & eighty seconds. That’s all you need to determine how a relationship will progress, according to a recent University of Minnesota at Duluth study.  Chemistry kicks in even before you speak with someone, which should help you distinguish the right guy from the goody one across a croweded bar, gym, or farmers’ market. When two people click, the interaction escalates rapidly because both parties offer more personal information and ask more questions. Here, experts fine-tune your man-dar so you’ll know almost immediately whether to land him or lose him.

Listen to his body talk. “Even unattractive men who present themselves as confident can be sexy and appealing,” says Ann Demarais Ph.D., author of First Impressions: What You Don’t Know About How Others See You. Green lights: his hips are directed toward you, he’s leaning in slightly, arms uncrossed, and he’s relaxed.

Don’t be left speechless. If even a short conversation is awkward, hit the head, says Samantha Daniels, author of Matchbook: The Diary of a Modern-Day Matchmaker.  Either both of you are uninterested, or he’s just dull.

Go with your gut. “Jump in, then take a break and reflect,” says Oregon State University psychologist Frank Bernieri, Ph.D. but don’t overthink it: if you walk away from your talk in a better mood, you’ve clicked. (Let’s hope you exchanged numbers.)

 Beware of wolves. If he claims to feel an immediate connection, take a giant step back, warns Sandra Brown, author of How To Spot A Dangerous Man Before You Get Involved. This guy probably wants intimacy – and we don’t mean the emotional kind. 

 Avoid the lecture circuit. If he pontificates or talks only about himself, that may be all he wants to talk about. “He thinks (he’s) smart and interesting, but he’s actually tedious and self-absorbed,” Dr. Demarais says.

 Like the one who likes you. The guy who can deliver a genuine compliment is worth a follow-up date. How to tell it’s not from a repertoire of cheeseball lines? He’ll praise a specific feature, Daniels days, which shows he took the time to notice your contagious laugh or your killer biceps.